There have been many wild and unconfirmed reports that the acting president of The Republic of South Africa, Jacob Zuma has taken up a new hobby, DJ’ing.
The president was spotted in a local electronics store quite far away from one of the many places he calls home, browsing through a section containing entry level DJ controllers. Several bystanders have been quoted as saying the man, who is in charge of an entire nation, spent a fair amount of time “scratching his head” and “looking at the cashier expectantly as if wanting to receive free goods”.
It has been suggested that Jacob Zuma may be wanting to follow in the steps of his hero, Paris Hilton who managed to break out onto the DJ scene without having any skill at all and still managed to make millions of dollars. Someone close to the president who refuses to be named believes that, “Jacob Zuma thinks he is capable of bringing copious amounts of money to South Africa as a DJ and singlehandedly solving the national budget deficit crisis with his soon to be fame and riches. He is however still unsure how to do this without giving any of his performance money away.”
It is rumoured that the state head plans to introduce his new passion as a DJ to the rest of the national government. As he is, by law, required to appear before parliament a staggering total of four times annually, a requirement he failed to adhere to in 2014. He has been quoted as saying that, “The state of the nation or my personal business does not require four meetings annually, it’s rather something we can discuss over a quick cup of tea once a year. The remainder of my time in parliament will be used for live DJ performances for all the honourable members of government. Because dancing solves all problems and then I don’t have to talk to anybody.”
Voter confidence appears to be high upon news of the president’s new hobby. One said that, “I’m over the moon that the president is getting involved in music. Perhaps while Zuma is trying to figure out how the buttons work he will have less time available to destroy the nation or to fix the fence at his Nkandla home.”
The true effects of the outgoing leader’s new DJ hobby will only be seen in the 2016 elections, where Jacob Zuma also plans on performing a back to back DJ set with an i-pod shuffle.
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